Why does Pubic Hair Get Everywhere
77The Hairy Soap
Whether you find suspicious hairs welded into the bar of soap, stuck between your teeth or coating the bottom of the bath, I would like to know how pubic hair seems to get everywhere, and I mean, everywhere!
It has always frustrated the hell out of me that no matter how clean you think you are, the moment you go to have a wash you inevitably find at least one or two suspiciously short curly hairs firmly embedded in the soap. What is worse is that if you live in a family you are never certain who they belonged too originally, yet as the next person needing the soap you are the one who has to carefully extract them and dispose of them. I am guessing a large part of the problem is that after you finally get to have your wash, (having first scraped the soap free of it's furry coating), you seldom think to check to see if YOU have now left any behind, and so the cycle continues for the next visitor to the bathroom.
The Bath
The bath is my next big issue, as I truly hate to have to rinse any bath before I get into it, yet I inevitably find at least half a dozen curly hairs spread around the bottom and sides of the bath. I suspect they are my Husband's, as I shave quite severely!
What is worse, is that if my Husband thoughtfully runs me a bath, he never rinses it properly first, so when I head for the bathroom, ready for a long hot soak, what do I see, you guessed, about three or four stray hairs doing breaststroke through the soapy water. I then spend ten minutes trying to "catch" the little critters so I can release them back into the wild, i.e. the toilet bowl followed by a good flush.
Hairs in the Bath
Hairs in Your Teeth or Throat
Now without being too explicit here, I have to say some of the most annoying hairs are the ones you get stuck either between your teeth or in your throat, (forgive the lack of a photo for this one, too gross by far)!
I am sure you can use your imagination as to how these get where they do, and it isn't pleasant. All men should also shave certain areas, and possibly women too for this very reason. Few things are worse than getting up after a nice hour or so in bed with your beloved, only to spend the next several hours gagging whilst you try to shift that annoying hair right at the back of your throat, or frantically picking at your teeth with a toothpick or delving around with a toothbrush trying to remove what I like to call, " the organic dental floss"
This my friends, is NOT pleasant!
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Hair on the Toilet Seat
Another place I simply detest finding escaped hairs is on the toilet seat, especially in public toilets. I really find the idea of plucking off a sheet of toilet paper simply to remove the offending renegade hair really distasteful, yet unavoidable as I refuse to sit anywhere near the seat otherwise. Please please please check the seat before you leave, and have the common courtesy to wipe it clean of hair if you are moulting.
Hairs on the Toilet Seat
Hairs in the Fridge!
I had the misfortune on one occasion to even find a pubic hair under the drawers in the bottom of a fridge. Now I don't even want to contemplate just how it got there, but it really grossed me right out. I am now scared of what may lurk in kitchen fridges I don't get to go near, such as restaurants and friends houses. Sadly no photo is available for this one.
I Could Go On....
Yes, there are many places these mutant hairs may be found lurking, in the bed, in your saucepans, on your face flannel, (God only knows how they get there) and even in your carpets and within your rugs, (especially sheepskin rugs, I KNOW how they get there). So all I ask is please be more careful, for the sake of your family, friends or anyone who shares the same toilet, bath, soap or household as you, please check to see what fuzzy little bundles you may well have left behind for others to find.
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I am going to have to buy new blankets and sheets if I ever move out of here because I will never be able to get all the hairs stuck in them out. It is bad enough with just me because my body is very hairy but if you add all Tiggy's fur it becomes a never ending battle!
Hey Spryte, ooohhhh the pictures were a little bit staged, but not as bad as some genuine scenes I have seen that were similar. Don't even ask where I got the hair from! LOL
Hi Bard, thanks for commenting, if you move out you had better just do a midnight flit, and then you won't need to replace the sheets. Not much good if you paid a deposit though. Hopefully they will give you the desposit back before checking the sheets, and then you can get going quick!
Hahaha! Great hub! This is so true! I think the hardest part about cleaning the bathroom is the pubic hairs. They're such a pain to remove from the bathtub and toilet sometimes. Grrr - I blame it on the men in the family, lol. :X
Hi Starrkissed, I agree with you, plus they always seem to embed themselves into whatever sponge or cloth you are using to clean with, so as fast as you wipe them away and rinse the coth, they reappear on the next wipe.
This is really shocking - I didn't know they had pubic hair in Guernsey!
I always like to think it comes from strangers - but even if I'm in a hotel alone it still appears - I suspect hotel staff carefully introduce specimens into my room while I'm out.
Great Hub - Full marks for the revolting photos!
Thanks Rik, now you know it doesn't just come from strangers, although I am a bit worried about the kind of hotels you are staying in :)
This is the bestest hub handling a hairy subject.
The worst hair of a pubic kind, was, genuine no jokes was at a top sea food establishment in a creme brulee. This was about 20 years ago.
Yuk, this is exactly what I mean, you never know what goes on in restaurant kitchens, or even if the staff wash their hands after going to the toilet. Thanks for the compliment on the Hub Just_Rodney.
Any short curly hairs are suspicious and normally come from a nefarious background. They should be rounded up called to attention and collected together and marched two by two into the sea. Oh OK then at least into the toilet bowl. Misty, a gross subject well put put. I will be interested to see if Google places ads but at present there is a conspicuous absense (adsence) of these. Scared off by the topic no doubt.
good hub!
I bet they don't place Ads, but not too worried as I still have the ebay and Amazon ones. Love the idea of marching these curly hairs two by two into the sea/toilet bowl. LOL :)
Oh BTW we dont use soap. we are not dirty, but use Liquid soap and a sponge. Keeps the little curleys at bay!
Okay, now it feels like I have a hair at the back of my throat even though I don't. Blahh! This hub has way too many truths in it.
Great job of grossing me out!
Thanks Guys, actually I have resorted to the liquid soap too now, but the airs still appear in all the other places.
Sorry to gross you out Shirley, but the topic was irresistable so it needed to be accurate :)
Ahem. Now. I am no expert, but I have engaged in years and years of vigorous and thorough research, and, well...some of those hairs appear a little long to me. As for hairs in the fridge, I will not comment publicly.
Thanks for a hysterical and stomach turning hub...and just when I'm about to eat, too! I'd better double check that zucchini!
Love it!
Christoph I take your meal will consist of Zuchinni and maiden hair pasta?
Sixty!!!!! LOL!
This hub is too funny!
As I regularly shave, the risk of finding pubic hairs has decreased drastically, but still… You really should do something with your phobia, Mistyhorizon. *lol*
You see, pubic hairs are quite natural. So I recommend to take your time to at least tolerate them. I suggest you ask your spouse to collect one or two for you. And each night, before you go to bed, you spend some time with them. For the first week, just looking at them will be enough, we don’t want to push you over the limits, right? After that first week, try to stroke one. If this is too much too soon, then don’t. Talk to them. Just once for the first night. And gradually stroke it more often. My guess is that after three weeks you will be able to touch a few of them and have gotten comfortable being around them. You’ll grow to learn that they are actually soft and friendly and don’t do you any harm. In time you will appreciate their gentleness, trust me. ;)
Ananta, LOL, I think my Husband would far prefer I stroke them whilst they are still attached! I love your advice though, makes it sound like a fear of spiders or something, (which is another phobia I do have).
Christoph, If the hairs appear a little long then they maybe someone used straightening irons on them before they escaped. Hope the Zucchini didn't get stuck in your teeth :)
sixtyorso, "maiden hair pasta", yuk, will never eat it again now you have made that comparision.
Sand Box Vet, thank you for commenting and so glad you enjoyed this hub.
Spryte, as always great to see you here again. :)
Hey, my viewings of this Hub are now up to 69, don't you all think that is kind of ironic bearing in mind the 'hairs in the back of the throat' or 'stuck in the teeth' point I made!
O Yeah, you take it to the next level, Misty! Stroke them on their own territory. Go girl!
I'd like to comment more on this hub, but I'll have to get back when I've removed all these layers of dark, soft, curly substance from my keyboard. Don't ask me how it got there.
Ananta, what do you do on your keyboard I have to ask?
Hey misty...I have a present for you!!! Check this out :)
Why Misty, what everybody does of course! *whistling*
Well, Misty, the ads have arrived. and I think your hub was more tasteful than the ads.
lol, too funny.
Gross and hilarious. However, for starters, you are a chick. You have no reason to complain about seeing pubes on the rim of the toilet. If you see them, it is your own fault for not having trained your man to put the toilet seat down to cover them. If you see them on the seat, well, then it's fifty-fifty whose fault it is (given equal shaving routines).
On that, frankly, it's much more complicated for men to, uh, wax the floors as it were because, well, for most that requires a full body shave. Oh sure, it's fine for a 20 year old guy, but past 35, well, women complain about shaving calves, try shaving literally everything. Be like taking a bic to grizzly. No thanks. Which leaves having to shave and then, you know, stop somewhere and ... what, blend? How the hell do you do that? It would be about as conspicuous as mowing one or two strips right down the middle of your lawn and then putting the mower away. Not only would the visual be absurd and, in it's hilarity, quite mood spoiling, it would do nothing to stem the flow of curlies on the soap and in the tub becuase, frankly, pretty much all the hairs below the adams apple look the same.
Truth be told, best bet is go with Ananta's advice and give yourself some spider-tollerance type training.
(Totally hilariouis hub, thanks for a great laugh and fun, fun read)
Hi Guys, sorry it has taken me a while to get back to you all, but went camping last night, hilarious fun but I now have the bruises to show for it after 4 of us managed to consume 34 cans of cider!!!
Spryte, just looooovvvved the picture, absolutely hilarious.
Ananta, What type of websites are your surfing exactly?
Rochelle, you may well be right about the Ads, "Free Sexy Girls" etc.
Thanks for stopping by pcdriverupdate and for commenting, glad you had a laugh.
and then Shadesbreath we come to you....... as per always your comments had me in fits of laughter, and my 41 year old, very hairy Husband can probably vouch for the difficulty of shaving "down there", but he often does, and reckons it improves sensitivity!! I love the idea of it being like mowing one or two strips down the middle of your lawn and then putting the mower away. I think I may have to try Ananta's spider tolerance training after all though, as I realise what you say about all men hairs below the adams apple being the same is true, and my Hubby has a hairy everything, back, bum, chest etc, in fact everywhere but on top of his head.
Thanks for the lovely compliment on the Hub too, as it means a lot coming from someone as brilliant at writing humerous Hubs as yourself :)
Very interesting hub. I switched to body wash years ago after a roommate left presents for me. Not even sure why she used my soap, that was just annoying. One thing I used to do was rinse the soap off after showering to ensure if had nothing left on it, which helps for those who do not want to use body wash.
Do you really want to know, Misty? Ok, I'll post the link: http://hubpages.com/profile/mistyhorizon2003
Thanks SweetiePie, good advice about rinsing the soap.
Ananta, you naughty boy! I guess I should be flattered, unless I am simply causing you to tear your hair out ;)
Me n my kitty are not gulity of any above!! lol
Im glad i live alone now because when ever i was living with a girl friend it was not just the amount of hairs everywhere, (im not saying its a girl thing! lol) but the lenth of the hairs i used to find everywhere! and some up to and over a foot long!
ps, pics are gross! lol
Thanks compu-smart, I only hope your girlfriend's hairs were long because they came from their head ands nowhere else LOL.
I so commiserate with compu-smart's girlfriend since I'm a "shedder" too. I generate more hairballs in the shower than my cats do on a busy day. It's not so bad though...at least I know that the long blonde hair on my husband's shoulder is most probably mine...I just have to apolgize to any potential victims as you could be 3 feet away from me and my hair will find you.
LOL, I think I may have a similar problem, although mine is a bit shorter thesedays.
lmfao! Yesh, it was definitely from her head!:D
@ Sprite lmao, so funny and thanks for the memories! ....I was also thinking that every hair and nail on our bodys looks beautiful.... until its unattached! then its soo gross! lol..weird huh!
I love your last comment about nails and hair, I guess it is a bit like skin, looks great attached, but not so great detached, such as when it flakes off after sunburn etc :) LOL
The answer of course is to go smooth. Smoothies all round. I mean Pubic hair has no purpose on the human body, going smooth looks and feels great, its cleaner more hygienic, and the smooth skin is more sensitive and enhances pleasure in many ways..... "Get off my profile Sally. I am not going smooth. Got it". ...Sorry about that Misty. Bloody woman is always sneaking on and posting comments when I am not looking.
Great Hub Misty love your work.
Thanks Brainstormer, hey perhaps you should try it sometime, as my Husband swears it makes his "hhh hhmmmm" bits, more sensitive if they are shaved. Nicer for Sally too no doubt! Could be worse, Sally might demand you wax down there, ouuuccchhhh!!!!!
Thanks for the compliment on my work, I love yours too :)
ROTFL! Nice hub -- gave me a good laugh.
hahaha.. Interesting article. I really agree this is getting everywhere. Thanks for sharing your experiences. Now I am aware of what is lurking inside a restaurant's kitchen and toilet. Eeew... I can't get the picture out of my mind. lol.. :)
Thanks for both your comments, firstly ADB, so glad to make you laugh as it was my intention.
Beth, thank you too, and I suggest asking to see the kitchens before you eat in the restaurant, although you may get a few funny looks if you tell them why you want to LOL :)
I reckon hairy soap could be sold on E-Bay.
There's enough talented writers in this thread to collaborate and spin a funny story to go with it.
Then list it in the wierd section, and sit back and enjoy the fun!
Now there's an idea Eric, any takers? :)
One sole pubic hair on a white kitchen tabletop....... must have been quite lonely. The rest of the 'team" were gett'n chilled in the fridge. The movie "9-1/2 Weeks" featuring Mickey Rourke and Kim Basinger popped into my head. After all, the strawberries were missing and the empty Reddi-Wip can was in the trash! Ah-Huh!
Thanks for stopping by PaulieWalnuts. I remember that movie too.
Ok ...I think you could use this Hub at a marriage conferance and treat it as a comic stand up, would be a great Ice breaker LOL
Mike :0)
Thanks Mike, what an interesting idea and would certainly relax the guests. Cheers for the positive comment :)
This was hilarious. I'm sure most people can relate. I'm sure we'll all be checking our soap more often now. Just read your Hub about trimming your bush. That one's a hoot! I love your Hubs. They're about real life! Good job!
Thanks Chermarie, it is feedback like yours that motivates me to write more :)
Cindy, I don't know how I missed that hub, but I'm glad I found it. Don't be so quick to knock pubic hairs on the soap. The hairs act as an exfoliant and really get that dead skin off your body.
Hi Joe, I never thought of pubic hair on the soap as an exfoliant before, but I guess you are right. However, I would prefer to know they were my own hairs and not someone else's wouldn't you???
That depends on who the someone else was....:)
In my case, only my own will do, I wouldn't want to exfoliate using anyone else's at all :) :) :)
Brilliant! Thanks for the laughs. :)
LOL, thanks Wednesday Morning, it's always great to make people laugh :) :) :)
hi misty, as a hair bearing male that has it growing out of places that we will not go into, i am here to appoligize for all the mess that men spread around, and tend to gum up the works. it is totally out of our control, if we started today trying to clean up the hairs we shed every minute of every day we would have a hair ball the size of a basketball. as far as the ones in your teeth, i enjoy those that my special one left for me, as does she mine. i have never been with a woman that was smooth (you know, below), it might be nice for a change, i have grosed out some of my friends when they asked me if i would kiss and lick a womans arm pit, and i said yes (only after a shower togeather) they liked to passed out. but enough about this furry subject and on to the hub, i enjoyed it very much and will read more of your fun stuff.
LOL Roger, well def not sure about armpits, washed or not. I am glad you enjoyed the hub though, and am pleased you want to read more and this has not put you off :)
hi misty, you should try under the arms, i will continue to read your hubs have a nice day.
your husband clearly needs more training in bathroom cleaning-up-after-self (-:
LOL LG, I shall have words with him, although he is getting better since I started his training regime :)
Roger, nope, still can't bring myself to try/allow that one :)
Misty...know why God made pubic hair curly???? So it wouldn;t poke your eye out.
LOL, I never thought of that as a reason, but it makes sense I guess :)
Oh Misty could not agree more with you. How do you know though the hairs are not yours though LMAO lolol. This may call for an interesting answer.
LOL BlondePoet. Well I am very careful where I leave mine, plus I am quite well shaven in such areas, so far less likely to have any long enough to be recognisable :)
If you shaven well, who is the owner of pubic hair in you picture. near the soap, maybe you neighbour's pubic hair.....hahaha
No, not neighbours, but possibly Husband's!!!
My whole room is full of hairs, dont know why is dropping so fast, maybe im getting too old.
Hi arcadegamer, so sorry to hear that, but at least they are your own hairs and not someone else's :) Thanks for commenting.
What the heck??
LOL, a very original comment Justin :)
Try trimming with small scissors. It takes a few minutes once every few weeks. I like to have it around 5mm to 1cm (1/4 inch - 1/2 inch). You will be rid of this scourge forever. The hairs seem to be small enough now that they get carried off on the four winds. I hardly ever see anything. You will also look and feel neater yourself. Both sexes can do it. I'm a guy. It helps you to maintain the clean freak/slob/weirdo balance very well in any communal or public situation that may arise.
Cheers for the great advice 'an sealgair', I am off to get those scissors now :)
I hate pubic hair in my mouth.
I doubt anyone actually 'likes' pubic hair in their mouth burgi ;)
I know this Hub is an old one, but I just took the time to re-read all the comments on it again, and I found myself laughing a lot. So perhaps other people will too if I bump it again :)
This is so funny because my middle daughter - since she was like 3 - refuses to take a bath unless I rinse the tub first (forbid there should be a hair there), inspects her food as if her life depends upon it (of course looking for hair) and has refused to use the school toilets because there is hair in everyone of them! I call her my little OCD child - her doc says she's glad she's particular:) lol
The reason I chose my dog Gizmo over another pup is because he is a shed less dog. He really doesn't shed! Funny hub!
Thanks RealHousewife, I am a bit like your daughter, and religiously rinse the bath out before using it. God help us if I find any small hairs in our fridge or freezer drawers. I know exactly how she feels. Glad you enjoyed the hub :)
Misty ~ I gotta tell ya, this was daring, creative and quite informative too. I'm glad you shared this on FB or I would have never seen it. I haven't thought about this much, but now that I am, I am kinda grossed out. Thank goodness for liquid body wash. But the other stuff, well, eeewww. Thanks for the laughs.
Sharyn
now this is funny.. the fridge? LOl.. Great hub so glad I saw it posted on Hub Elites.
Debbie
Thanks Sharyn, so delighted you enjoyed this. It has been a long time since I published it, but I do love reading it through again because all the comments were so great, in fact they were as funny as anything I wrote.
Thanks Debbie, I am really pleased you liked this and it made you laugh. I loved writing it, and did it completely on a spur of the moment impulse when I did, (largely based the HP Hubmob topic of the week at the time being all things to do with hair, only I didn't know how to add it into the Hubmob then, so it ended up as just another hub).
spryte Level 2 Commenter 3 years ago
*snorts & falls over laughing* Love the hub!
I hear ya on the pubic hair thing. I won't ever take a bath until I've rinsed it out first....not only because of body hair....but because my cats like to use my tub as their cat fort. Don't ask me why...I have no idea.
Loved the pictures!!! Did you have to stage them at all, moving the hairs from one location to the next?