What are the signs a person is suicidal?
87
Several years ago I wrote an article based on my own experiences called 'Do you really want to commit suicide?'. Never could I have guessed that I would spend the next three years being inundated with comments from desperate and suicidal people pleading for advice and for help, or simply stating they still wanted to die in spite of what I had written about my own experiences. This shocked me to the core, and somehow I could not let it go, repeatedly trying to talk these people out of killing themselves, and often exchanging comments with them over many weeks. Although there were many people who seemed quite determined to commit suicide whatever I said, I still kept replying to all the comments I received. 'Why?' you might ask, well the answer is that I survived my own suicide attempt many years ago, and although I went on to experience some unbelievable horrors in my life, I kept on surviving. To this day I am glad I did as life improved dramatically, and I would not want to have missed out on what I have in my life today by dying prematurely. Likewise I did not want others to miss out on a great future they had not anticipated due to their circumstances at a low point in their lives.
Another reason I kept on replying was because once in a while I would get a comment from a person stating that after reading my story, 'I had saved their life that day'. This kind of achievement is not one I take lightly, and it certainly makes me feel I have in some small way justified my place on this earth.
In the last few weeks I finally found answering the daily comments became too stressful for me. Some people won't accept advice or act on it, and I found myself repeating the same advice again and again, and running out of ideas for what else I could say to those who were quite determined not to consider ways they could help themselves or turn their own lives around. I knew from first hand experience that life can feel so hopeless that you do just want to give up, at the same time as I also knew that life can take a complete turn for the better if the person struggles on through the awful times. With great difficulty I took the decision to turn off the option to comment on that article, because if I hadn't I was in danger of making myself quite ill with the responsibility of replying to comments (I still get private emails from suicidal individuals as it is).
 | Amazon Price: $11.49 List Price: $21.95 |
 | Amazon Price: $1.29 |
 | Amazon Price: $9.08 List Price: $15.98 |
I decided to write this article because I realised that I am not the only one who can offer some kind of support to a suicidal person, family member or friend. Much of the time the trouble is that the average person doesn't know what to look for as a sign of a person being suicidal. It isn't always obvious, and all too often the family and friends find out too late that their loved one was suicidal for whatever the reason.
The reasons a person becomes suicidal vary enormously, it may be because they are a youngster being bullied at school, or they have broken up with their first true love. It could be someone who feels that for whatever reason they have let their family down or been a failure to them. It can be as a result of a divorce, a bereavement or financial pressures. Perhaps it is because of the stress of exams, fear of failure or weight issues. Maybe it is due to homelessness, drug addiction or alcohol abuse. The reasons are endless, but what I am sure of is that life can change and can improve, but too many give up, firmly believing there is no 'light at the end of the tunnel' for them.
 | Amazon Price: $7.99 |
 | Amazon Price: $17.27 List Price: $24.95 |
 | Amazon Price: $1.50 |
 | Amazon Price: $7.94 List Price: $13.99 |
![A Cry for Help: How to Help A Friend Who Is Depressed or Suicidal [VHS]](http://ecx.images-amazon.com/images/I/4188DS3TY4L._SL75_.jpg){kind=small} | Amazon Price: $16.95 |
The Basic Signs of a Potentially Suicidal Person
These are some of the basic signs to look for in a person you suspect may be suicidal. This is not a comprehensive list, but it might help you to prevent a person you know from killing themselves before they get support from a family member or friend. Be especially aware of these signs at significant times of year such as Christmas or Thanksgiving (when they may feel even more alone or isolated as everyone around them is jovial and happy), or times significant to them personally, such as anniversaries, birthdays etc.
The person may become irritable, short tempered or nervous. You will notice this when you spend time around them and you should see it as a warning sign.
You might find the potentially suicidal person seems to 'put themselves down' a lot. This means they will verbally criticize themselves, maybe their appearance, personality or usefulness. They will find it difficult to accept a compliment without 'rebutting' it.
The individual may well become withdrawn and lose touch with family and friends, even avoiding going out and socialising with their former friends and acquaintances.
They often 'let themselves go'. In other words they might lose any interest in bathing, changing into clean clothes, shaving, having haircuts etc.
On occasion the person might become violent. This can be as a result of inner frustrations at how they are feeling, and even youngsters are known to assault their parents when feeling this way.
Children being bullied may refuse to go to school, or may skip school. Often they will spend increasing amounts of time in their rooms, and their school results / reports will show a downturn.
Adults may organise their effects and final wishes, e.g. writing their wills, talking about whether they want to be buried or cremated, selling valuable assets etc.
They may show a loss of weight or appetite.
Giving away personal possessions they previously treasured to close friends and family is another behavioral trait exhibited by suicidal individuals.
Making peace with people they had fallen out with in the past happens frequently with suicidal people.
Struggling with sleeping patterns, the suicidal person may sleep more or less than normal.
They might make alarming statements like 'I am better off dead', 'life isn't worth living' or 'you are better off without me'.
Do not be fooled by a person who you suspected was suicidal suddenly becoming upbeat and cheerful. This does not necessarily mean they are 'on the mend', and can mean the exact opposite, i.e. they have made a decision to end their life and are just waiting until their chosen time to do it. You can act now and give them the support and love they need to keep going, and help them to see that their life can turn around for the better if they just work through their current problems with your help (and /or professional support). Good luck and I sincerely hope this article helps save many more lives.
Mistyhorizon's 'Do you really want to commit suicide?' article link
- Do You Really Want to Commit Suicide?
You have decided enough is enough, for whatever reason you want to end your life as you can't bear to live anymore, but stop, think for a moment, and listen to the words of someone who has been there, didn't succeed............
An article on suicidal feelings by writeronline
- Hello Depression, My Old Friend.
Reflections on a life lived with clinical depression, anxiety, suicidal thoughts, major health 'events'; and surviving...
vote upvote downshareprintflag
- Useful (5)
- Funny (2)
- Awesome (1)
- Beautiful
- Interesting (3)
CommentsLoading...
Thanks rebeccamealey, I hope you are right :)
I was deceived in the business by my friends and i lost all my property, now i have lot of debt to clear which i am unable to clear up i did all that i can to save my life i struggled very much to live from past one year, friends now i have decided to die (suicide) on January 14th 2012.any one who wishes to live comment may email to p1in1m@yahoo.co.in.
Good work! I am glad to see that you are reaching out to others, offering compassion and understanding - things that are often lacking in the suicidal person's life.
As you stated, the reasons vary tremendously as well as the symptoms. There are those who do not fall into the symptoms that are expected and I fear that they get lost. I have been doing some research on Depression vs Bi Polar Disease and finding it frustrating that many of the symptoms to be diagnosed with either one are said to have to last 3-4 or more days at a time.
I think more intensive research needs to be done for people who have not so noticeable symptoms that don't necessarily last a few days at a time, but may only last an hour in a day, often when others do not see them. These are the suicidal people that never get help because no one even knows their thoughts or feelings.
Thanks for commenting Allana, I agree that far more research needs to be done for people who don't appear to show many, if any symptoms, prior to committing or attempting suicide.
I agree with you. I have been in deep trouble and guess what? This time I feel like I'm done with this life.
Good to know there is really God and I feel that God strengthened me through His words in the Bible.
Thanks for sharing.
Johan
Stay strong Johan, whatever it takes to get you through this time in your life. In a year or two you will probably look back on this time in your life as just another closed chapter, and by then you will hopefully be in a happier chapter of your life.
Good Luck
Misty I have to commend you for publishing this Hub (as well as the prior Hub). You have opened up your heart and soul.
I have published similar Hubs, so I know the burden of responsibility when it comes to answering challenging comments, but nothing on the level of addressing life and death situations. All that I can say is "thank you" for continuing to put out great articles. Wishing you (and everyone) a peaceful and rewarding New Year.
Thanks Green Lotus, and thanks for doing the same thing and trying to save lives.
Happy New Year to you too, and let's hope a few more get to celebrate it as a result of our respective hubs :)
This is weirdly accurate to myself.
In 5 days school will start, and I'll be able to get 150$ worth of hydromorphone to overdose on. I'll be free...
Suicide is a permanent solution to a temporary problem 123456789, I urge you to read my other article AND the comments before you decide you really want to end your life so prematurely. You have nothing to lose by reading it, and most likely everything to gain! The link is in the main text of this article.
Interesting hub....I knew someone who went to a psychiatric hospital for being suicidal..she often drew very "dark" pictures of herself being stabbed, or bleeding to death...stuff like that...
Another good suggestion for what to look out for JaninaMarie.
I also forgot to add 'self harming' to the hub, as this is not a dissimilar idea to what you are saying, only more physical as opposed to mental.
This is an important and delicate argument. Thanks for writing this article, I hope it can help someone. Recently a cousin of my brother in law commited suicide and his reasons remain, and will remain forever, a great mistery. Here instead remains many questions, in particularly on how recognize the signs of a suicide
Hi Fucsia, I am very sorry to hear about your brother in law's cousin, and also very sorry to hear that no-one knows why he felt suicidal. I just live in the hope this article along with my other one on suicide will each prevent more suicides, either through the suicidal individuals themselves reading them, or the family members and friends of the suicidal individuals.
still, I dont want to live anymore.
Please read my other article and all the comments before you make such a permanent and final decision 'Me'. It is linked to within this article and I am sure you will realise it is amazing how life can turn around if you wait it out and keep on battling through.
Good Luck
Dear......I'm very sorry to leave you when you,re having a bad time, but I 'd planned this some timeago and coundn't pull back.
I've loved you helplessly all your life, and I'm sorry I wasn't the much better father you deserved.
I've always had a really stupid attitude- Dante kept the lowest circle of hell for those who wilfully live in sadness- and I hope you go on with a more positive outlook. Express your creativity- don't stifle it and drown it in booze like I have-and live a long and happy life.
HOW? WITHOUT YOU?
I hope this is not a real suicide note. If by some chance it is can I suggest you read my other hub and the comments, and think again before you inflict this level of emotional pain on someone you claim to have 'loved helplessly all your life'. If you love someone you don't do this to them, wrecking their lives in the process!
Voted up for this excellent and very useful hub, Cindy! I can see why you have a Hubscore of 100!
Thank you Steve, both for the 'up vote' and the lovely compliment :)
everyone have different coping mechanisms and pain tolerance. so what happens when you simply reach your limit and you just cant cope anymore with the endless shit life has in store for you? no matter how hard you try, how much you keep believing that someday everything will be fine but it just doesn't go that way and you're still fucked? no matter how hard you try to keep the faith. Do you just keep reaching out blindly to people who refuse to see or hear your suffering? Everyone says not to kill yourself because it will greatly affect the ones left behind. But what about the person who just can't deal with life anymore? What's there left to do when she cant bear to live and isnt allowed to die. where do they go from there?
Hi Lost, a difficult question to answer not knowing any of the facts behind your statement. I don't want to let this article go the way my other suicide article went by becoming a counseling page in the comments section. For that reason can I urge you to visit my original article and read not only the article itself, but all the comments, many of whom are from people who appeared to feel the same way as you do. The link is in the first paragraph of this article.
I think you will find it helps.
Good Luck.
oh I've read it, hence me commenting here since the comment section has been disabled in your previous article. I was just curious cause I've done a two or three from what most people adviced and at the end of the day neither works, so I just really had to comment. And someone said that suicide is a permanent solution to temporary problems which I find disagreeable :) since some certain problems aren't 'temporary' but more on the side where it sticks with you forever. I guess I'll just have to hold on for as long as my 'will to live' would allow me :)
I hope you do 'lost' as things can, (and frequently do), get so much better if you work through them. If I hadn't done this I would no longer be here myself, yet I am, and over 25 years later, with no regrets about having stuck with it and survived to fight another day.
You didn't say why your problem is not 'temporary' and is 'permanent', but I hope that is not the case. Don't take that statement literally, as it can mean a problem that you can solve emotionally and recover from, e.g. dealing with a relative dying from a terminal disease. You can't cure the disease, but you can survive the loss. I hope you can understand this and see what I mean.
I hope for that to happen too, everyday.
Well I didnt bother elaborating my problems whatnot since it would be too long. I think with enough support and help from my family things could actually go for the better, but that's not happening. As always i have to rely on little me :) Thanks
I hope things get better for you 'Lost'. Try to find someone you can talk to even if it is a friend or a counselor if your family are not supportive.
no offence i think u have done very good but all just word's i do not beleive that people will change there mind's after reading thing's or listenin to people. there are those who love or like life and there are those who don't wanna be here for what ever the reason real reasons can be turnend around if how ever the person who does not wish to be around has prob's but are not botherd by them and jus want's to go than why try change there mind's....everyone die's myself i think that no matter what people do in this world it will be nothing compared to how thing's will be wen we are no longer here. there will be no happyness or sad or anything as it is right now it'll be as we want it to be if not thn sleep forever...dream's r better than reality deep down we all no. i c this world and ppl for what they and it are. i don't see anything that is fantastic. ppl say get a job or go sumwere u love... well yeah and than what? i don't see anything that wud make me think oh gr8 am glad am gettin up to go do that....everything is same. i watch too many films and fantasize to much so am disapoimted with life all the time. it is gud you have helped ppl tho, people have the thing's that make them happy,other's there is nothing to pick from outta all there is here.
Hi Tasha, thanks for your thoughts. The thing is that people do change their minds about committing suicide all the time (I was one of them). If you read my other hub on suicide and then read the comments you will see a good few people telling me that after they read both the hub and the comments they changed their minds even though they had been about to kill themselves. Not everyone will change their minds of course, but those that do frequently end up very glad they did.
To be honest reading your post I would have to wonder if something else is going on in your case, e.g. depression. Undiagnosed and untreated clinical depression can lead to suicides because no medication was used to put right the problem. Even counseling can help you look at your life differently if you get a good counselor. My own Step Son was certain he wanted to commit suicide (he had even picked a date) when he was a young teenager. He refused to leave the house for four years. Luckily a combination of good medication and a brilliant counselor, and now he has started going out walking again, even visiting town. It's weird because it is like he went indoors as a young boy, and came out four years later as a 5ft 9" man, (I didn't see him for all of that four years because he lives with his Mum.)
It just shows that people can, and do reverse their decision to want to commit suicide, and instead find reasons to make life worth living.
Hi, my brother is 20 an has no job,no money,lives at home and has been consemplatingsuiside for the last couple of months, his been goin to quiet dark places eg park, sumtimes to a church an crying his eyes out, I don't live with him an don't see him that often because its hard for me to travel to him. But I'm really worried about him, I lay awake at night wondering what his doin, if I'll wake up an hear bad news. I'm just stuck on what I can do. Please help x
Hi worried sister. I can only suggest that perhaps he goes to an organisation or group that help suicidal people. On my other suicide article there are some links, and people have added links here and there in the comments section. Is there no way you can go and stay with him for a week or so and try to talk to him about why he feels this way. Perhaps that is what he needs, someone to listen to him and support him.
It is difficult to know what else to suggest when in my case I battled through it on my own and survived, so I can't really think of what else might work. You could send him the link to my other hub so he can not only read the article, but more importantly the comments that followed. Many of them prove that people can change their minds about killing themselves, and many of them had worse experiences that caused those suicidal feelings than the average person (if that makes sense). It might change his way of thinking if he reads them.
The link is in the text of this article.
Good Luck
Thank u mitzyhorison2003. I will definatly get him to read them articles. I just find it hard to even say the word suiside to him. His my little brother.:-(( ihe lives with my mum an younger sister theirs no room for me an my baby. I keep telling him to come an stay with me but he just don't. I do speak to him al the time an try an keep things positive an tell him how much he means to everyone.thank you so much for replying. Its nice to have someone to talk to about it that understands. X
I hope he finds some comfort from reading the article, and it is good that you keep reminding him how much he means to everyone. He is lucky to have a loving and supportive family who care so much.
Good Luck
Prasad i have been deceived many times by supposed friends, they were the one initiating my demise. i believe these people wish death upon me. suicidal thoughts are a sign of witch craft. i hope you are still alive. don't allow the devil to conquer you.
I can't say I agree with your comment 'awaken' as there are lots of reasons people feel suicidal, but I am pretty certain 'witchcraft' is not one of them. I will allow the comment though based on the fact it is not offensive and merely states your personal opinion.
hi misty, I read your earlier article, and would have commented there but as you know, comments are disabled. So I read this one.
I'm somewhat disappointed at the theme that runs through both of them, and through most of the comments you've attracted, and responded to. ie suicide is a permanent solution to a temporary problem, that only weak people wallow in etc etc etc.
It is possible to spend your entire life battling a desire / need / obligation to commit suicide, for reasons you cannot actually control, yet to the outside world present a relatively normal face.
Most of your reference points, and those of your commenters, seem to relate to reactive depression, (ie,in reaction to specific events), which can be expected to pass with time, or a change in life circumstances, and with it, the desire to take yourself out.
Endogenous depression has nothing to do with such causative events, but believe me, is every bit as disabling. And notwithstanding the pat comments (not here necessarily, just a general position taken by the mentally well) that it can all be fixed with medication and a bit of self-will, for many people it *is* permanent.
I've written two hubs on this, based on my personal experience. I don't want to sully your hub with links to them, but if you publish this comment, at least people with that different, but equally valid perspective, would know that they could read hubs from someone who understands that situation, and that despair, has fought it for over forty years, and is still here.
Less judgment, more compassion, can go a long way towards helping people live with, not die because of, suicidal thoughts they can't switch off.
If you're open minded enough to read the hubs I've written (easy to find via my profile page) you may be surprised at some of some of your fellow Hubbers who've been brave enough to add their names to the list of the similarly afflicted. We don't all feel sorry for ourselves at all - but there are many lives being lived with quiet desperation.
Cheers.
Thanks for commenting with your perspective writeronline. That comment must have taken you ages to write. Please feel free to post your links in this thread and I will allow them and read them. I haven't got time to track them down right now as I am rushing around today (Tuesdays are always bad for me plus I have got to write another hub before tomorrow for the 30/30 challenge). I am sure your articles will present an equally valid viewpoint if your comment is anything to go by.
Just publishing the comment is all I'd hoped for, Misty. I don't have any wish to labour the point.
But I will accept your offer to include the links, thankyou.
There's a link within the Hub below, (called Hello Depression My Old Friend) to the associated one, about suicide prevention.
http://writeronline.hubpages.com/hub/ATrueLifeStor
Just to add to the discussion...
Thanks again, Misty. Good luck with your 30 in 30 challenge
Thanks writeronline, I promise I will read them as soon as I can, and I hope others do too :)
PS writeronline, I have added your link to a new link section at the end of this hub.
Cheers, Misty. (For the promised read. And the link.)One thing about depression / suicide / mental illness - there's definitely no absolute right or wrong. It's all shades of grey...imo.
Very true writeronline. I have been through depression and being suicidal as you know (I still suffer from depression), but mine has always stemmed from experiences in my life, or at least that is how it feels. I concur though that there are cases such as clinical depression where it can be unexplained, and that being suicidal can also be the same story.
Misty,i don't know what to do..i can go for weeks feeling relatively happy and then suddenly (and sometimes for no reason)crash into a severe depression.i cry,hate myself,cut myself and pray i wsnt here..i always contemplate suicide but my belief in God and the selfishness of the act wont let me.so i am stuck in limbo..and i suffer the agonising feelings whenever they attack.i was sexually abused as a child and i still live with my abuser but i would like to believe i made peace with what happened and have forgiven him,so i do not think that has to do with how i am feeling..i am always there for my friends but they do nnot understand how i feel,and i end up feeling so alone because they only come to me when the chips are down and they need me to fix it.i am also overweight and recently left my fiance for cheating on me.again i feel like i have dealt with emotions from that,soi don't know what is wrong with me..help me..please
Hi Afraid, I have to ask firstly if you have read my other article on suicide, mainly based on my own experiences. Apart from the main body of the article itself the comments section may well prove enormously helpful to you. If that doesn't help I would also recommend the article written by writeronline that I linked to at the end of mine (above). He fully understands a completely different aspect of depression and what causes it.
Your self esteem sounds so very low right now, and yet you sound like a lovely person just reaching out for some kind of help. I am convinced that living with your abuser is not healthy for you no matter how well you believe you have come to terms with it. He should be punished for what he did, and on some level I am sure you know this. To take control of your life back and start to really move on and become a strong individual again you need to be around people you trust and who won't let you down. I honestly recommend you get away to a place of your own, even if it means sharing with a friend or a flat mate, and then you will have time to raise your self esteem bit by bit and start to reclaim your life and the person you want to be.
Right now it sounds like you tell yourself you have 'dealt with your problems' as this avoids you having to really deal with them. The problem is this is burying your head in the sand and not truly tackling the effect these experiences have had on you. Counseling might also be a very good option for you.
Good Luck (both the articles I recommend are linked to in this one).
Thank you misty..i will work on it,although i can only move out when i graduate from university next year.i will have a look at those articled.Godbless you..
Good Luck 'Afraid' I hope they help, and I hope you do move out as soon as you realistically can. God bless you too.
This has truly helped me understand the signs were there when my sister took her life 6 months ago. Although it is in question, the signs match the out come. I still struggle with her death and I'm almost certain I will the rest of my life. Thank you for posting this hub.
I am sorry this came too late to help you in a big way Brandym2012. Maybe you can spread the word so others can benefit.
rebeccamealey Level 7 Commenter 5 months ago
A profound article! It could help so many and may well even save a life!