How to avoid the Jehovah's Witnesses on your doorstep.
82I have no problem with people having a different religion to mine, after all, each to their own, and there are so many religions that are 'popular', each follower apparently believing their chosen religion, and only theirs, is the correct one, (everyone else must be wrong, mustn't they?). No, my problem is not specifically with the difference of opinion on religious choice, (after all, I converted from Church of England, following a Catholic School early education, to being a Pagan!). My problem mainly lies with my privacy being invaded at often very inconvenient times, and by people trying to tell me my choice is wrong, and then trying to force their own religion on to me instead. I suspect many of you know which religion I am talking about by now (the title of this hub was a bit of a give away), yes, I am referring to Jehovah's Witnesses.
Now I don't know about you, but I have somehow been unlucky enough to have Jehovah's witnesses try to visit me on a number of awkward or annoying occasions. For example, when I have been enjoying a long soak in the bath, when I have been making love, when I have been cooking and when I am in the middle of watching a very enjoyable TV programme. I am so polite that I find it very difficult to say "buggar off, I'm busy", so I usually end up having a polite conversation with them on my doorstep, even if still clad only in my dressing gown or bath robe!
The last significant experience I had was when I made the mistake of allowing a couple of nice young male 'Witnesses' into my home when I lived in England. I told them I was a Pagan, more specifically a 'Wiccan', thinking they might accept this and leave me alone in my beliefs. Not so, my sources that had previously told me Jehovah's Witnesses leave Pagans alone because it is the hardest religion to 'break', were apparently wrong. My statement just acted as a 'gauntlet thrown down', in other words, I became a challenge. When they eventually left I was given a heap of 'Watchtower Magazines', one of which included a large article on the evils of Pagansim and Wicca as a religion. After reading them through briefly out of morbid curiosity, I quickly dispatched these to the bin, which in my opinion was where these bigoted articles deserved to be.
I have since read some interesting pieces of advice on how to avoid Jehovah Witnesses, and I decided to put these all in one place, hopefully with a humorous slant that will appeal to my readers, (although I somehow doubt I shall amuse the Jehovah Witnesses that read this). If it helps at all, one of my neighbours is a Jehovah Witness, but thankfully she is not one of the 'knocking on doors' variety, and does not force her religion down other people's throats. Additionally I have spoken to friends of mine who also know 'Witnesses' , and they have told me their Jehovah Witness friends are not of the questionable belief that blood transfusions should not be allowed, (even if their own child's life depends on it) and that they are not all inclined to force feed others their beliefs in a 'Pâté Foie Gras' style. This much is a relief, but it still leaves me wanting to maintain both my religious and personal privacy, and not be approached with a view to being 'saved' by any religious group.
So here goes with my advice on how to avoid the Jehovah's Witnesses on your doorstep.
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1) Hide.... honestly, this really works. My Husband did this only the other day. I heard the knock on the door, and called out to him to answer it. He rapidly appeared in the room I was in with vigorous 'shushing' motions, whispering that the Jehovah's Witnesses were outside and he had seen them working their way around our complex. Apparently they nearly missed our front door because it hasn't got a name above it, but one sharp eyed 'Witness' spotted it, and decided to 'give it a go', resulting in my Husband and I hiding in the upstairs bedroom for several minutes until the area was 'safe'. We later found out our neighbours had done exactly the same!!
2) My Mum's recommended method, quickly devised upon coming home to find my Step Father had, in error, allowed two female Jehovah's Witnesses into their living room. She told them that we were all Catholics and both her daughters had received a Catholic education. This did the trick and they soon left, blissfully unaware that none of the family are actually Catholics.
3) A fellow hubber suggested this one ages ago. Answer the front door wearing a large flowing robe, and explain you can't speak to them right now as you are busy and need to go slaughter a goat for your altar. A lengthy knife in one hand, (with a bit of carefully applied ketchup), can add to the authenticity of your claim.
4) A gamble, but I have known of people who have been brave enough to invite the Jehovah's Witnesses into their home, purely to debate the issue of their religion with them. In some cases I have heard of, (at least one a fellow hubber), they actually talked their visitors around, and the Witnesses left questioning their own beliefs and what they had been taught, largely because they were young themselves, and had never yet questioned what they had been told in any depth. As far as I know they never returned, so obviously they were the converts, and not the other way around!
5) An excellent one I found on the Internet was: "A friend claims that when Jehovah's Witlesses knock on her door, her first response is to ask for their address. When they ask why she wants to know, she says it is so she can visit them to push her beliefs. So far, none of them have given their address. It also marks the end of the interview".
6) Answer the door naked.... need I say more!
7) Point out that according to their own beliefs only 144,000 of them are going to Heaven, so statistically the odds are against them being one of the lucky ones, leaving you as a 'new convert' with no hope.
8) Actually this one is not funny, but should be mentioned as it is quite shocking, "
There is an article on the official Jehovah's Witness website about child abuse. It states that if a Jehovah's witness child accuses another JW of abuse, the child must first try to reconcile the problem with that molester. If the abuser denies abuse then no further action will be taken as Jehovah will sort it!!!!!!!!!!!! No mention of the police or other authorities!
9) Post a notice on your front door stating that you are off donating blood to the local blood bank (totally against their religion).
10) Advise them that your Horoscope said you should beware of visiting strangers with a message!! (Horoscopes a big no no to Jehovah's Witnesses). Actually, for a full, and quite shocking list of what Jehovah's Witnesses are apparently not allowed to do... go to this link and prepare to fall over backwards at the list you will be confronted by.
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Didn't read the post but I had to9 share the ultimate jehovah witness experience ever. I have a hobby producing t-sirts that display quotes and my brand of political statements. I answered the door one day in Shreveport La. to find two Jehovah witnesses standing there. I didn't say a word, they didn't say a word and walked away. I waswearing a t-shirt that stated I was in the Jahovah Witness Protection Program. I promise to come back and read this after I sober up. honest 1/8 indian.
Like summer wasps, winter daddy-longlegs, iced-up car windows, divorce and death, they fit in there somewhere as a minor inconvenience. I have a standard reply which has stood me in good stead with these idiots and other religious nuts. "I don't believe in that shit, goodbye," (door slams in ridiculous faces)... Bob
I Know what you mean only to well. I had three of them show up one Sunday am as I was under the car fixing the brakes. I heard some one approach and poked my head out . It was the nice happy family approach...What appeared to be a MOM a Dad and honestly some Borrowed Kid.
The Kid was smiling and seemed excited about all that was going on.
I crawled out stood up and looked them staright in the eye`s. I siad I know who you are and what your about...You Guys look Miserible, you dont even want to do what your doing right now and I know for a fact that you cant Question your belief, because you have to turn ecah other in, how sad is that. Honestly you look dead, no joy. They just Looked at me with Blank expressions as the words hit home. I went on to say I was a christin ,but that My Joy did not come from reading a book, but from a real loving deep realtionship with my Creator.
Again i siad " I`m sorry but you look really sad'
With that ..they thanked me and decided to leave...I went back to my Brake work and begain to pray for them especially the kid..
Many times before I have just kicked them of the property because they dont even want to listen...Ok I,m Done ..great hub Cindy :0)
Mike :0)
I tell them that if god created me,then he can create my understanding of his reason without interpretation of the sinfull man,but through his direct influence.;)
Hi VioletSun, that would be so handy (the camera), I wish I had one as it is not just the Jehovah's Witnesses I could be forewarned of, it could also be the neighbours children who won't stop visiting every five minutes. Thanks for commenting :)
Hi Stump Parrish,
Loved the T. Shirt accompanied by deathly silence idea. Really hope you come back and read the hub itself too :)
Hi Bob, a short but effective solution. Problem is I am too soft to do it if I get as far as opening the door :)
Hi Mike,
What a great comment, and how awful that they can't even question their own beliefs out loud, as the others are obliged to 'report them' for breaking the rules, (did you read that link to 'the rules' by the way.... it is quite shocking?)
Sounds like you handled it really well, and I do hope they remembered to return the kid to his rightful owner ;)
Hi Mentalist, do they simply accept that and go away though, or so they want to stop and debate the whole issue. Personally I agree with you :) Thanks for the comment.
I just told them this on the one occasion and closed the door,lol,the neighbors usually chase them off before they make it to me.;)
I just open the door in my nightwear, my favorite toy in my hand and say.."If I wanna be fucked up.. I do it myself"
Isn't it wonderful to have neighbours who are trained to be like Rottweilers! :)
Hi Lazur, long time no see, great to see you now though. Love your idea too. This is why comments sections are so handy in a hub like this. They expand on the ideas and therefore benefit other readers with the same predicament :) Thanks for sharing it.
If you seriously don't want them to call you can either put up a sign saying NO JEHOVAH'S WITNESSES. Or, next time they call ask to be put on the DO NOT CALL list. Then you'll only be called on at most once a year to see if you're still alive or have moved.
Hiding will not work. In fact it will make them came back more as you will be put down as a NH (Not at Home). These get called on repeatedly until someone is found in. That is if they're doing their work properly.
Thanks for the tip "What", although I have heard of cases where the signs outside are ignored. I find it kind of amusing that they could be asked not to call, but they would still turn up in a year to see if I was 'Still Alive'. That must sure keep them busy with the amount of homes thy get turned away from.
This is Pat writing, but we live in a town with a high number of JW's so we both frequent calls.
A few years ago I hit on the idea of giving literature to the JWs when they call. I am a church member and I now keep a copy of a recent pew sheet in the hall cupboard.
When I open the door to JWs I usually begin by saying "I'm glad you're here - I've been praying for you!" (Actually, this is sometimes true - the praying bit anyway).
Then I say, "I've got something for you to read. This leaflet contains some unabridged verses from the Bible."
Please be assured - I don't go around trying to convert anybody else, but I do believe that the JWs have got it so wrong.
One of the comments above mentioned that they look miserable - and I agree. What sort of faith makes people so unhappy?
Anyway, my 'method' of giving them literature usually confuses them and they go away.
Good hub - I've marked it up.
Cheers Pat, that is so funny, and I love the fact you tell them you have 'been praying for them' (even if it is sometimes true). It is a sham they do look so 'miserable', somehow it seems very wrong for any religion to make a person feel like that.
Thanks for the vote up :)
Cindy just popped over to taht Link...very, very usefull...My Wife works for a Company as a manager Her Pm is Jw..her all her sraff with the exception of her ass Mgr are JW. Last X-mass Cynthia had a party and her staff were going to attened. then a Jw from the building next door got wind of it and thet could not Go...Anyway thanks for a great Hub and the former JW web site..
mike :0)
Hi Mike,
Funny you should mention the Christmas party. I remember one year I inadvertently gave a guy I worked with a Christmas Card, not realising he was a JW. He was clearly NOT impressed. Another time I accidentally said (on a Friday) "Thank God it's the weekend", to which he replied "I thank God every day"..... how embarrassing.
Hey Misty, a really cool hub. I've had my share of experiences with them as well and without a doubt, they are some of the most dense people I've ever met in my life. :P And, believe it or not, for the first few years I lived where I am presently(been here now 20+ years), the people on the third floor of my apartment building are Jehovah Witness and whenever I would stop and be polite, it would always get onto the topic of religion. At the time, I was Catholic born and raised(which hasn't changed, but presently have no religion whatsoever), they would both(husband and wife) would try to talk to me about it. Ironically, what they didn't know was my experience- which consisted of having one conversation sitting in a Denny's restaurant with a Jehovah Witness, a Jewish person, another Catholic, an Atheist and an Agnostic, which lasted for 7 hours. Constantly going back and forth on the topic. Once I finished by research into religions of the world, my neighbors attempted to still convert me, but this time, I had a different approach- and it was one that ended any conversation of religion between them and myself. LOL! :)
However, I think a friend of mine had the best approach- He would answer the door with a Satanic Bible in his hand and would ask them if they were really interested in having a conversation? Till this day, I still get a kick out telling other people about that.
Hi Cagsil, thanks so much for visiting my hub and commenting on it. I had to laugh when you said "sitting in a Denny's restaurant with a Jehovah Witness, a Jewish person, another Catholic, an Atheist and an Agnostic", as it sounds like the start to a typical joke, I almost expected a punchline. I guess the best answer was to refuse to discuss religion with them at all if you were to remain friendly with your neighbours. Hopefully this tactic solved your problem.
I have to say I loved your friend's idea too though, mischievous but funny, (actually I did read one website where a JW said that actually they find it quite funny the lengths people go to avoid them too).
This was a hoot..Loved it and the pictures were priceless especially the door knocker. That would keep em all away, even the girl scouts. The comments left only add to the fun. Luckily, I haven't had a visit from the witnesses in years, although after reading about all those cool methods of getting rid of them, I wish I did. Rated up and useful!
Misty: I have not been bothered by them for several years, but now I get the Mormons coming to my door.
I always ask one simple question and they walk away saying they will get me the answer. They never do.
Here's the question. The bible states that when Cain was banished, he left and took his wife with him. Where did the wife come from, Immigration? We have Adam,Eve and two sons. One son gets murdered, and all of a sudden Cain has a wife.
Hi Green Lotus, yep, a door knocker like that would definitely do the trick for most callers I reckon. I actually hubbed on weird and wonderful door knockers, and one of the things I get emailed about most is where people can buy one of these 'sets of balls' door knockers. Sadly I haven't been able to find them for sale... yet.
Thanks for rating this hub up :)
Hi Dave,
I loved your question
"The bible states that when Cain was banished, he left and took his wife with him. Where did the wife come from, Immigration? We have Adam,Eve and two sons. One son gets murdered, and all of a sudden Cain has a wife.",
not least for the part where you suggest his Wife may have come from 'Immigration'.... brilliant and funny.
Thanks for posting :)
Great hub Misty! My only addition would be to answer the door dressed as a Vampire for two reasons they don't celebrate Halloween or any other holiday for that matter and the very nature of Vampires goes against their beliefs.
I haven't had any Jehovah's Witnesses knocking on my door yet, Cindy, but I want to be prepared. Where can I buy that door knocker?
BTW - very funny hub, m'dear.
Hi Triplet Mom, could try that, but so hard to do in a hurry, especially if it is midsummer, and not actually Halloween!! Might consider hiding an appropriate costume behind our front door though :)
Hi drjb, I so wish I could tell you where to buy that door knocker, but as I said above, I have no idea in spite of loads of people emailing me to ask after I did my 'Weird and Wonderful Door Knockers' Hub.
Glad you enjoyed this :)
Voted up - thanks for a good laugh. For a while we had trouble with them at our previous home - they were really obnoxious, sticking a foot in the door and all.
I finally told one (female) pair that we belonged to the church of the holy orgy and were about to start services. Would they care to join in and give it a try?
They never came back.
Oh Wilderness, once I got over the horror that anyone might 'stick a foot in your door' in order to get you to listen to them, I had to laugh at the idea of you inviting two female JW's to join you in an orgy. Brilliant, I suspect many more ingenious anecdotes have yet to come from future readers.
Thanks so much for sharing :)
he he - this hub was recommended on a forum - a few people used an orgy line
Hi mistyhorizon,
a great hub and like you I really do believe that people are allowed to believe in whatever they wish.
However it annoys me when these JW or any others feel that they can knock on your door and try to convert!!!
I'm afraid I say "I'm busy!!" and close the door.
A bit rude but they really do annoy me.
Thanks for this hub which gave plenty of food for thought!!!
By the way I liked the sign "These dogs are fed on Jehovah witnesses!!"
Take care
Eiddwen.
They don't actually knock on your door to convert you. Only you can convert yourself.
Their knocking has a two-fold purpose in their books.
1. Preaching the Good News of the Kingdom as commanded by Jesus.
2. Warning of the coming destruction of the wicked.
With regard to the comment on where Cain got his wife.
Genesis 5:4 (King James Version)
4 And the days of Adam after he had begotten Seth were eight hundred years: and he begat sons and daughters:
The Amplified Old Testament describes Cain’s wife simply as “one of Adam’s offspring.
Hi Baileybear, thanks for commenting, so pleased you liked this, and flattered someone recommended this on a forum :)
Hi Eiddwen, thanks very much for commenting and sharing your own tactics for dealing with the problem. Glad you liked the sign picture too, (I chuckled when I saw it as well).
Hi 'What', Thanks for adding your further thoughts to the comments. I shall leave it to Dave Mathews to answer the Bible one, as I avoid those kinds of religious debates. Plus, the King James Bible was the one I have always been told was altered around a whole lot by King James in order to change certain meanings to suit his own beliefs.
I still don't feel it is right for anyone to just knock on your door to spread the word or warn of coming destruction for the wicked. I shouldn't have to leave signs out telling them not to knock. Their visits should be by invitation only and at my convenience if I want those visits.
You are of course totally justified in feeling the way you do.
But to play the Devil's advocate (or in this case you could say (God's advocate). When they ring you can choose not to answer if it's inconvenient for you, or if able answer and simply say "No thank-you".
They view their message of extreme importance. To illustrate if someone saw that your house was on fire you wouldn't complain that they knocked on your door at an inconvenient time to tell you, even if you were sleeping.
That is how they view their message, as if this Earth is 'on fire' and people need to know urgently.
Like many on the Titanic who refused to heed the warnings they paid with their lives.
I mention this just to show how important they feel it is to tell/warn you.
Of course it is ultimately your choice and I for one understand totally how you feel. I hate it when anyone knocks on my door as I suffer with Social Anxiety Disorder and it justs sends panic through me.
Hi 'What', I do understand what you are trying to convey, but you don't always know who is at the door when you answer it, and by then it is too late. If you are like me and hate to be rude or hurt people's feelings, then it is hard to tell them to 'go away', or even say 'no thank you' as you don't want them to feel 'rejected'.
I understand that they might feel the "Earth is on fire", but I for one don't feel quite the same, and if I did I wouldn't necessarily feel my solution was the only way to solve the problem, and that I therefore had the right to insist other people listen to it. Sure, if my own home was physically on fire I would like someone to knock on my door and let me know, but that risk is of course very real and obviously true, whereas the 'belief' the Earth is on fire is without evidence, and I prefer to work out for myself based on my own beliefs, if this really is a threat to me, and if so how I want to deal with it.
I too hate answering the door, or even the phone if I can avoid it, largely because I suffer from anxiety and depression, and feel far more comfortable cocooned away in my home. I understand this must be very similar to S.A.D, and I am certainly far worse in the cold, wet Winter months, when I get a sense of dread whenever the knock on the door happens or the phone rings.
cool ideas - deliberately mistaking them for Mormons or Hare Kryshnas, pretending to be incontinant and needing to run to the loo every few minutes, and asking if they are from a hidden camera tv show while looking for the camera can be a good deterrant too
Excellent ideas arthurchappell, glad you enjoyed the hub and thanks for commenting :)
I open the door naked holding a gun. Thanks for all the other ideas though. My method will eventually backfire.
LOL Stan, now that would be truly enough to scare anyone away. Just glad it wasn't the 'Avon Lady' :)
Glad for me? Or glad for her? :)
Hmmmm, good question, glad for her I think :D
Hilarious. I love the "hiding in an upstairs bedroom" part, because that's what a lot of us do! I have little kids who always stare out the window when I am trying to avoid answering the door. My husband once answered the door to Mormons, his handgun held to his side. I'm a Catholic and I am sure they frown upon that. I preach to no one! Leave me alone! Great artcle!
Great tips. I will put them to use as I cannot stand having those people come to my door.
Thanks Rosefall, nice to know we are not the only ones hiding in the bedroom. Fortunately we don't have kids to give away the fact we are hiding by peering out the windows LOL. Love your Husband's technique too, mind you we can't do that as we aren't allowed guns over here!!
Hi Susie Duzy, good luck, hope they work for you. Let us know how you get on :)
my grandmother (old school hillbilly baptist)used to argue them chapter and verse until they left her house exausted never to return,... she would make them coffe and whoop out the cookies,.... for her it was like a spiritual football game with home field advantage,... it could go on for hours.
after a few years, she musta been put on the do not knock list cause they stopped comming.... i think she missed them.
i am a convert to the catholic church (no, grandma's not happy) and i just hang roasaries all over the house when they visit, then i ask them to please allow me to aply the holy water before they enter the door.
you fling a little tap water round they scat,... but if they still hang on, i ask them if they will take a rosary in exchange for the litturature,...
i walked a couple to thier car and hung little plastic rosaries all over the car before they got out the driveway, the door handles, radio antanae, widshield wipers,... it was realy fun once they got moving.
you can buy the little white or black plastic rosaries by the gross,.... its worth it.
Oh stclairjack, that is so funny, I just loved ALL of your comment, without exception. I want so much to have watched your Grandmother at work with them, and equally I want to see the faces when you not only applied 'holy' tap water, but also the plastic rosaries on the car occasion... totally hysterical :)
Thanks for sharing... really :D
A fun hub to read and good for many laughs. I wish I had something creative to add, but I don't. I either hide or just tell them I'm not interested and close the door.
Next time I'll have some fun with them. :D
Thanks for commenting MyWebs, glad you enjoyed this. Let us know how you get on next time they call ;)
It is so rare that I have visitors knocking on my door I usually answer just to see who it is. I have learned to tell them my religious beliefs do not permit me to speak with them.
Really... how can you celebrate a death if you don't first celebrate a birth?
Great hub!!
Hi Susie, great to see you here. I like your tip for saying your religious beliefs do not allow you to speak with them. What a great answer, and avoids any discussion at all.
Thanks so much for your comment :)
LOL great hub.
I don't know how it happened. I am was the first homeowner in this subdivision, but all my neighbors are JW's. They are good people and don't preach to me too hard, they know I am one of those crazy born-againers. Oh well....
Great hub Mist...
- Harlan
LOL, thanks for that Harlan, I guess they know you can give as good as you get :)
Love this too! Certain family members of mine have actually pulled a shot gun on them long ago, and more recently my family has taken to just kindly telling them we don't need there services at all because our family actually believes in Jesus.
LOL Fluffy, funny how if you pulled a shotgun on them today you would no doubt get arrested. I am guessing the 'Jesus' route might be the safer option :)
while some of the comments are funny to read,
i wonder why so much good talent is going into:
'how to say mean things to truly caring people'
when you seem to view yourselves as good people.
they teach only exactly what the bible teaches.
if you really don't want to know what that is,
there is a foolproof way to make them leave.
just quote them this scripture: Matthew 7:6
as much as your complaining makes it seem
that they are in all places at all times.
this is not the case at all and you are
keeping them from someone who is waiting.
regardless of its nature, or what you believe about it,
does any one of you know what the bible really teaches?
Hi 'Confused', spoken like a true Jehovas Witness! Sorry, but where in the Bible does it say blood transfusions are against God and the right course of action is to let your child die rather than opt to let them receive one?, and why is quoting from the Bible 'Matthew 7:6' relevant when so many people have now recognised that Bible quotes are more than likely the words of ancient 'politicians' not the words of God?
Sorry, but if most of us are interested in becoming a 'Jehovas Witness', we will 'seek them out' not want them bothering us on our own doorsteps when we are busy doing other things, preferring not to go down the brainwashing route.
We are not being 'mean' simply stating we want to choose and/or discover our own path!
If you have a German Shepherd Dog, a Rottweiler, or even a Dobe, teach him the little-known "Not now" command. Here's how.
Take your beloved pet on a walk to the nearest city park at night. Do your best imitation of a barking dog. Of course, when he hears you, he'll want to chime in. As soon as that happens, say, "Not now" with an encouraging tone of voice. Do that for several nights in a row. Then the next night, give the not-now command, without attempting any canine vocalizations. Chances are, he'll respond.
The next time a stranger knocks on your door, bring your dog with you when you answer. If the stranger turns out to be a JW, give your dog the not-now command! Repeat if necessary.
Another great idea Larry, thanks so much for sharing it here :)
I usually hand the Witnesses a voter registration form since they are not allowed to vote. I might have to use one of your suggestions. The last guy said to me: I have registered to vote. I vote for the Lord!"
Thanks for the laugh!
LOL Deni, what a great answer he gave, all credit to him for originality :)
I had this incident on board ship when my master (Filipino captain) summoned me to welcome a couple of JWs. I was still cooking for lunch at the ship's galley and I said, if they want to linger for some time, just wait for me while I sit the table at the mess hall. Truly, they stayed a little longer.
You know how busy we are during our loading and discharging operation on board ship. Only the crew managing the galley can really talk to them.
When asked where the captain is, I said without batting my eyes, "He's sleeping!"
This idea is not original with me, but it's worth mentioning for the sake of completeness. Keep a small Baggie filled with dried parsley near the front door. When you answer the door, hold the Baggie in one hand. If the people knocking on your door are JWs, ask if they'd like to come in and smoke a reefer with you.
Thank you 'the sailor' this was a very noble gesture on your part. I am sure your Captain appreciated it :)
Hi Larry, love this idea too, another great suggestion. Thanks :)
Wow!I counted about 60 comments on one subject: how to get rid of J W’s. The home but hiding one is the most common, I see them ducking around the corner. What an array of degrading a work that Jesus started—preaching from house-to-house—city-to-city.
I’m surprised, though that none of you has gotten the message yet. The best way to get rid of J W’s is to simply say:
“I’m not interested.”
That’s all it takes, and I’ll simply walk away.
Respectfully: jghn
Thanks for your feedback lookseenow, but how can we say 'not interested' if we are in the bath or asleep when you call? It seems unfair to expect us to remove ourselves from either our bath or our slumber in order to tell you we are 'not interested'. I have a much better idea. If we are interested to find out more we will seek you out. Just post a business card or leaflet through our letterbox. Easy :)
I won't come at 0500, I promise. I don't get up that early anyway. If you're taking a bath, I do not know that, but after a ring, and a knock, I give up.
Trouble is 'lookseenow' that you are also assuming people all work and sleep 'normal' hours. I for one am asleep until about 2.00pm most afternoons, and unfortunately I am also one of those people who struggles to get back to sleep once awoken. This means even if the knock on the door awakens me, but I choose not to answer the door, I might still waste another 2 hours trying to get back to sleep. The other problem is that some people worry that a knock on the door, (much like a ringing telephone), could be important, or an emergency, therefore they feel compelled to answer it. Imagine how annoying it is to then find it was not an emergency, and you have been disturbed for nothing! Really, the leaflet through the letterbox approach is the best option if you really want to 'spread your message'.
No offence intended, seriously :)
I consider it urgent, an emergency, but many do not share that view. I’m sorry I awakened you, but we will no be doing it much longer.
Yep! There’s an end to it. That’s what makes it so urgent, and you may come looking for us, because churches have not recounted it to people that God has sent us to preach this good news of the kingdom everywhere. Please, read Matthew 24:14.
Our preaching will end when God says it’s enough, and then the end will come. When will the end come, I’m sorry no one knows the day and the hour, but God knows.
Thanks for the feedback, I really apreciate your comments,
Regards: jghn
Thank you for your comments too John.
Hypothetical situation. I put a sign on my door, which reads as follows:
Attention religious proselytizers! I am a professional Polite Listener. By knocking on my door or ringing my doorbell, you agree to leave your business card, and to pay me 1000 US$--in cash--for each interruption of my daily routine. And for that fee, I will listen politely to your sales pitch for up to 60 seconds, which I will measure on my stopwatch.
Jghn, in that situation, I'm assuming that you would take one of the two honorable courses of action. Just out of idle curiosity, would you feel duty-bound to knock and to accept the financial consequences of your actions? Or would you choose to leave me alone?
Great input Larry, I have to say I do not believe in the apparent 'urgency' of the situation as far as the JW's are concerned, therefore feel it is my choice to decide whether to contact them or not. I certainly have no intentions of reading any Bible references, as the Bible (in my opinion), is merely a compilation of mistranslations, manipulations and was actually written by men, not by Jesus (or anyone else God-like). Spent too much time being force-fed all that stuff when I was at convent schools LOL.
Oops, you voiced an opinion. Any good writer who gives an opinion needs to be ready to provide references. Where are your references? Prove what you say with valid references of when, where, what mistranslations, misinterpretations.
You did offer two truths—good show mistyhorizon2003!
1. Jesus did not do Bible writing, No but his words are quoted by Mathew, John, Mark, Paul, Peter, James and Luke to name a few.
2. The Bible was written by men. Forty of them, and Moses was the first, Ezra, Nehemiah, David, Isaiah, to name another few. They wrote God’s thoughts, and not their own.
(2 Peter 1:20-21) No prophecy of Scripture springs from any private interpretation. Prophecy was at no time brought by man’s will, but men spoke from God as they were borne along by holy spirit.
3. The Bible is alive and exerts power. (Hebrews 4:12) Look at what it did to you, Misty! You voiced an opinion, although no references are offered, and you are right, it is your choice to listen or not. God is telling you that he is never going to force-feed anything to anyone. The decision is yours to make.
Like Joshua said:
“Now if it is bad in your eyes to serve Jehovah, choose for yourselves today whom YOU will serve. But as for me and my household, we shall serve Jehovah.” (Joshua 24:15)
Best wishes: Jerry.
Dear Larry Fields:
My message is free, the literature is free, and I am not soliciting, because You do not need to give me anything. Your time is money, my time is free, and I give it free.
I might politely scan your sign, but soon walk away, but I don’t have a business card to leave.
Thanks for taking your valuable time to write to me. Regards: Jerry
Hi Jerry,
Thanks again for your input, and whilst I would like to spend hours trawling the Internet and the libraries in order to find you the evidence of the mistranslations and manipulations (I didn't actually use the word misinterpretations, as you quoted), I simply do not have the time right now. I am up to my neck in juggling Hubs around following the numerous changes in rules here at Hubpages and on Adsense, plus I am moving various Hubs to other sites as a result. Additionally I have a 200 foot long vegetable allotment that is gradually vanishing under a bed of weeds and is urgently demanding I sort it out. I generally avoid getting involved in religious debates purely because they get so heated, and neither side is ever willing to concede any ground, this is why you never see me on the religious forums here.I am happy being a Pagan, I love nature and the environment and believe God is in everything around us. I don't need a dusty old book to tell me that!
There are plenty of books, websites etc out there that will explain how parts of the Bible were deliberately changed/manipulated to suit the Kings/politicians of the day, (King James being one of the worst offenders by all accounts who appeared to prefer his own version of what the Bible should say, so simply changed the bits he wanted to). Many mistranslations were as a result of there simply not being a direct translation possible, so a second guess had to be made to find a similar word, (which was not always successful). I seems to recall that one such quote was 'Thou shalt not suffer a poisoner to live' which ended up being printed as 'Thou shalt not suffer a witch to live', two completely different meanings from just one word change.
Anyway, I have been shown loads more examples of these over my years on the planet, so I highly recommend you try a brief Google search which will surely produce the answers to the questions you asked me.
Just out of interest though, obviously you quoted me as having an opinion and said I should provide references, but obviously you too have an opinion, one which believes that the Bible is totally accurate, so I could turn the whole question around and ask for your evidence that it is, and that it isn't full of the mistranslations and manipulations I believe that it is! Obviously you would not be providing evidence if you use Bible quotes to achieve this because they themselves could be mistranslations, manipulations or even just genuine transcript errors that happened when the book was written down. To provide evidence the Bible is accurate would naturally require an external source therefore.
Thanks again for your input, but I am off to begin tackling the jungle that has my veggies growing underneath it now LOL
Your references are appreciated, King James did take liberties, mainly to support the trinity doctrine, and to delete God’s name from the entire translation. In the original Hebrew, and Greek, God’s name appears more than seven thousand times, but in the King James only about three.
The Catholic Douay version deletes Psalm 83:18 where God’s name is found, but in their translation, they delete the verses entirely from verse 12 where Psalm 83 ends.
The American Standard Bible on the other hand uses God’s name on every page, so it’s a good translation. I use the New World Translation, that was released in 1963. That’s the one I use to make my scriptural quotes from.
We are aware of these mistranslations and manipulations, plus you are very sharp, I commend you for your carefully examining the scriptures daily to see whether these things are so.
Best wishes, and thanks, I mean it! Jerry Gehen
No worries Jerry, intelligent and non-aggressive interaction is good for everyone. Signing out now, (shattered after hours on my allotment planting beans, weeding, transplanting onions etc). Peace!
Hi Jerry,
I stand corrected. I should have used "spiel" rather than "sales pitch."
Cheers,
Larry
I remember a few years ago I heard a comedian talking about this very subject. He said he just smiles, invites them in, and says “ Have you heard about Scientology” at which point they would run for the door. Short of doing this I think your idea about going to the door naked is probably the best approach though, assuming you have the nerve to pull it off of course. By the way, I am not anti-scientology or anything, in fact I think it’s a very useful science to know, but a good joke is a good joke.
By the way Misty you are absolutely correct when you say the Bible has been altered over the years. In fact things have been taken out and or altered so many times that we cannot be sure what was originally in it. And of course it was a group of ordinary men who decided which books to include in the Bible in the first place and which ones to leave out. Not only that but some of the early Sumerian text that were precursors to the stories that eventually ended up in parts of the Old Testament were incorrectly translated. And of course we all know that different versions of some of the same stories used in the Bible are also used in the Koran. Anyway don’t let any of these naysayers give you a hard time.
Hi Slobeachboy, thanks for your two lovely comments. I laughed at the first one, and was very impressed by the knowledge you exhibited in the second one. I also remember reading that the Bible was not actually written down until hundreds of years after the events apparently took place, and therefore not by the people it quotes from. This also leaves room for further errors as stories always distort over time, and that sure is 'some time'! Throw that into the mix with the manipulations and mistranslations, plus the fact that strangely a large amount of other religious icons/deities seem to have shared loads of the same life events, e.g. being born of a virgin, rising from the dead, being crucified etc (see my Hub on http://hubpages.com/hub/Christs-Life-Story--or-was ), then I begin to wonder how much of what we read in the Bible we can trust to be accurate at all.
I haven't had a Jehovah Witness at my door in a long time. Now this isn't an invitation to visit me!!!
I laughed all the way through this. Your tips and photos are a riot.
LMAO!!! I am a supporter of "each to their own faith" but don't force it upon others.... I, being of visible minority, answered my door one day to be faced with two "visitors". They went on and on, I simply nodded and nodded. When they finally asked me for an answer, I said "Me no speakie English" and closed the door. They never came back. :) Thanks for the laughs this morning, and perhaps I'll try the goat one next time. :D
Thanks Sandy, we rarely get them here either, or else I am genuinely 'out' when they have visited. glad you got a laugh out of this :)
Great tale Beth100, good luck with the goat idea for next time and thanks for commenting :)
So, so true. Tolerance of other people's religious beliefs doesn't include allowing them to impose their beliefs on you or preach to you. I laughed out loud while reading your hub because I could clearly relate to the avoidance tactics. "Hide and pretend no one is home" is utilized fairly regularly and universally. Love beth100's no speak English approach. But that could lead to the utilization of multilingual discipiles roaming your neighborhood. Awesome hub. Voted up and funny.
Thanks Husky1970, LOL at the very thought of "the utilization of multilingual discipiles roaming your neighborhood"
Very interesting and informative Hub and - Wow! - what a number of comments and suggestions. I believe I have an original one... ;)
Do you remember the fabulous Spitting Image, the puppet show from the 80's and 90's? There was one sketch where two Jehovah's Witnesses were seen to knock on a door - which was answered by Cliff Richard! He said, "Hey, come on in guys - we'll talk about God!" They backed off with their hands up, saying they were in a hurry, another time Cliff, thanks anyway, etc. Nothing against Sir Cliff but I thought that was hilarious.
What I would do now, therefore, is say, "Hey, guys - come on in! I'll put on my Cliff Richard LP's and we'll talk about God!"
OK, maybe not - but it was a funny sketch! =)
My mom had a "family" come to her door. A small child recited a lengthy passage of scripture with all the correct pronunciations and inflections. My mom asked the child what a few of the words in the passage meant. He looked at the adults. She then scolded the the adults, telling them they should be ashamed for turning the child into a "trained parrot" who was too young to understand the meaning and significance of the words he spoke. They left.
I loved your comment Gordon, not least because Spitting Image was a fabulous programme that I think they should bring back with new puppets for today's politicians, royal family etc. Even the old ones are brilliant, but I never saw the Cliff Richard scene, and now I so wish I had LOL
That is a great story Rochelle, and I am so pleased your Mum berated them for such a tactic, and why not just leave the children to be what they are...children!! Thanks for sharing her experience.
Really good! It also works to open the door dressed in skimpy latex with a leather whipp on your hand, lol
“When I knock on your door it’s to preach, but I don’t tell you that, because no one likes to be preached to. When we preach to some, they eschew our message possibly because they are not spiritually inclined. To see if we are sincere, they try, but they cannot read our minds, no one can do that except Jehovah. For who among men knows the things of a man except the spirit of man that is in him?
Why do you become annoyed, is it be cause it’s not worth the effort and so you dismiss me? As a physical man/woman you cannot get to know what I am trying to get across. What I espouse is examined spiritually. You can’t get to know of it—this is of no interest to you because it sounds like foolishness. The idiocy of it these things I speak, not with words taught by human wisdom, but with those taught by the spirit, as I combine spiritual matters with spiritual words. (1 Co 2:11-16)
It’s like the weeds that come up that I planted with vegetables, but instead I get crab grass. It’s not what I practice with careful cultivation and daily weeding, but still weeds blossom forth. I’m one of those who are planted in the house of Jehovah, in the courtyards of our God, nutrients are what I want from the vegetables, and bouquets for my table—they—the ones who respond with interest when I knock and ring—they will blossom forth. They will still keep on thriving during gray-headedness. My face will resemble the zucchini—fat and fresh—to tell it is Jehovah who makes it grow.
(Ps 92:7-15)
I should show this to my wife. They show up at least once a month and know her by name. They are a very persistent bunch.
LOL Jim, why on earth did she give them her name??? That is asking for repeat visits!
LMAO! Haven't tried a few of these but will keep them in mind. We get hounded at times with the JW's and as you say it's never at a convenient time.
We nick-name them 'the holy wullies'! Our village is a working-class, hard-drinking place so we are typical fodder for these bible thumpers and they do believe that everyone in my village needs to be 'saved'!!! Basically I just hide - I always have a sneak look anyway to see who's at the door and if I think they are in anyway 'iffy' I just ignore them - but you can spot the JW's a mile away! My Gran never had any bother with them, she used to make sure she openend her door wide enough so that they could see her photo of the pope hanging on the wall - that was enough to get them on their way. Great hub - I'm still laughing!!
Thanks for the great compliments Seeker7, and I am so pleased you enjoyed this hub. Nice to know I made you laugh :)
Very entertaining and quite some original tips.
Glad I say in a condo with an intercom system,I may answer but I never make it to the door.
Voted up!
LOL, Rastamermaid, we so need an intercom to solve the problem :)
The 1st pic will not stop JW from knocking on your door.
JW got rid of the cross around 1920's when they thought the cross is a sex-symbol.
Now they believe Jesus died on a pole.
How this is believed to not be a sex-symbol is a mystery, as is the symbol of a (watch)tower on their assembly hall's and magazines.
My suggestion is to change the cross to the sexy tower as shown on their official website :)
Thanks for the interesting comment Jona, now there's a thought :)
This one made me laugh out loud! Great Hub.
Thanks Rachelle, I am delighted you liked this and it made you laugh :)
I am like you Misty and don't like to be rude so on this one fateful day l opened my door and there were two JWs standing at my door, l listened polietly as they went on and on, they could see a family portrait on the wall in the hallway and saw l had children this started a whole new conversation for them. My children have decided to opt out of doing religous education at school which is their choice and l told them this and they then proceded to tell me that children need guidance and help to which l replied l have no more right to tell my children what job to do so why should l tell them what religion to have, l believe l am a good parent and instill great qualities in my children like respect for others espescailly the eldery and what l believe to be right from wrong in the every day world, but l also believe they have the right to choose what path they take in their future employment and religion(if they so choose to have one)l can only guide them not force them. Back to the JWs they left and about two weeks later one of the JWs returned this time with a different co conspiritor who proceeded to hand me a book about how to raise responsible children, l asked if they had ever met my children to which they answered no so l asked what made them think they were not responsible was it that they thought because l choose to let my child have free will to a degree l was a bad parent, they really had no answer and l had to politely say l was going out and had to get ready and they left only to have the same JWs knock on my door this morning at 10:30 which woke me up( doing a night shift job as well as day job so Saturday is sleep in day, hubby watches kids) what made this situation worse was l got home from work last/morning at 1:30am only to have the neighbours having a party and they had doof doof music going until 6:30am, l finally went to sleep a bit after this and was then woken to them standing on my door and her telling me l didn't look well l explained and they were apologetic and left, l am furious that l am unable to go back to bed and l just think these JWs need to just leave others alone. I am thinking maybe l should get their address and get some of my friends who love a drink go around to their house on night after having a few drinks and ask if they want to come join their drinking religion bet you they would not apprieciate being woken up. And before some one writes anyone could have knocked on my door all family and friends know l have a busy week and Saturday is my sleep in and don't come round till after lunch. So to all JWs l am putting a sign on my house which l hate doing and if you knock am going to call the police as l have had enough. I think this hub is brilliant and have enjoyed reading all of the funny comments.
Thanks for sharing your story Michelle, you are the perfect illustration of why it is so wrong for them to harass people in their own homes. How dare they presume that you 'need' to be told what religion to follow, or that your kids do anyway. Hopefully the sign will do the trick.
Glad you enjoyed the hub and it gave you some laughs too :)
I'm a Jehovah's Witness, and I love going from door to door just to wind people up. I love getting people up out of bed, interrupting their day, winding them up, generally being a pain, and twisting their every word, that is what it is all about!
I even jump from one sie of the street to the other, or backtrack on not at homes right away, as this catches people out who hide so I can wind them up some more!
Sometimes I even get a donation to get rid of me; this is great to go towards a beer somtimes!
I can answer any question, even when I make up the answer it usually sounds good, especially as 99.99% of people don't even know Adam from Eve! Let alone Jesus from God! lol
I love a challenge! lol
Intriguing comment Marcus, not sure if you are a sarcastic Jehovah's Witness, or a 'non-invasive of people's privacy' person being facetious! Either way, a funny remark that made me smile :)
Sad to see so many hateful people.
I don't think they are hateful H20Bolt, they just value their right to privacy and their own beliefs. No-one wants to be pestered in their own homes when they are happy with their own beliefs and have lives of their own to lead.
Let's be adults and let's be kind. You don't need to hide like a child or play immature jokes. Get a peephole and don't answer the door if you don't want to talk or don't have the courage to speak your mind. If someone comes to your door and doesn't leave when you indicate that you are not interested, you are justified in closing the door. But really, is it necessary to be unkind? How about all of the children who appear at Witnesses doors at Halloween? Would you want them to be rude when you impose your religious ideas on them? It's not true that no one wants Jehovah's Witnesses at their door. And in some places in the world, people still practice hospitality. I don't accept that having someone try to talk to you about God is a reason to be rude. At least JWs don't employ the wars and crusades of many religions to share their beliefs. There are more important things to be concerned about than people trying to share their faith.
I think you are largely missing the point that this article is meant to be humorous, and not all the ideas are to be taken literally and actually carried out! To be honest the fact the Jehovah Witnesses and how to get them off your doorstep has become so much of a 'standing joke' for so many years, is mainly because of the fact the vast majority of people don't want religion, ANY religion, thrust down their thoats on their own doorsteps, especially if they are in the middle of doing something else when these people turn up. Essentially these kinds of articles are all over the Internet, and the Jehovah Witnesses only have themselves to blame for this. If they can dish it out they should be able to take it, in other words, 'don't do the crime if you can't do the time'.
Oh for the record, Halloween is once a year only, and is a bit of fun for the kids, not a religious lecture.
Also, I suggest that the Witnesses only knock on doors where a sign outside says they are welcome, as opposed to knocking anyway unless they see a sign that says they are not! Problem solved this way and all are happy.
Thanks for the advice! I haven't see JW at more door for years but if they come back, I know I'm ready
Glad to be of help TurtleDog. Perhaps I could send the next ones to call here to your house so you can try these ideas out ;)
"Knock Knock!!!"
"Who's there?"
"Jehovah's burglars"
"Jehovah's burglars??? ..... What are your beliefs?"
"We believe you've a lot of cash in the house" ....(Spike Milligan)
Great Hub mistyhorizon, great fun
LOL, thanks Shinkicker :)
I have made the mistake of being nice to them and listening on their visits. But now they are starting to drive me crazy. I have no interest in converting or listening to anymore of their crap. I hate confrontation and every time i'm about to tell them to leave they show up with a couple of people. I will now have to have some cahones and tell them to please stop visiting. Thank you all for the information here. It has given me some insight to what i'm dealing with.
You are very welcome Pat, good luck and I hope you solve the problem :)
For me, I have two options for my future.
Tell them I own a gun and show them the locked case when they come to my doorstep, telling them to fuck off.
Tell them to come inside, and invite them to my backyard where I can "read it with them". I don a Zipo lighter and burn the copy of The Watchtower. I will then proceed to tell them to gtfo.
Sorry, but even though I may be a person with a cruel personality, but people like this should not be tolerated. They either do not realize or care that nobody likes Jehovah's Witnesses.
Thanks Chris, well I am guessing your method would definitely work LOL.
Thanks, I try to think of fun ways to solve common problems.
Golly, you need to read my How to Get Revenge Hub then and answer some of the comments for me (a couple of other people do this too), I am clean out of new ideas.
Your hub is great. Great advice. I've had an experience in which a young girl rang the doorbell as I was getting up and putting my clothes on. When I opened the door, she gave me a pamphlet and said, I'll let you get back to what you were doing. As if I was doing something unholy!
Your advice is well-taken. I will definitely remember what you recommended.
Thanks SonQuioey10, glad you liked this and I loved your story :)
I am one of Jehova's witness, and i see you are afraid of JW's coming to your door. But you did not handle that very well. If your not that really interested you should not hide, tell a lie, or be mean. You should at lease listen to what they have to say and be reaonable
Why should we listen to what they say when we are busy doing things we want to be doing and we value our privacy? I don't think it is 'reasonable' to expect people to drop everything to listen to some stranger who has decided to turn up on their doorstep without an appointment.
I tell them their god is a mass murdering psychopath. I ask them how many children were killed when god decided to flood the world after Noah built his ark. I then ask them their views on abortion. They're always against it so then I ask how many unborn children were killed when all the pregnant women drowned in the flood.
Hi Kopite Al, I am more concerned with now, as in the refusal of blood transfusions even when it is for their own dying child. Stunningly appalling, and more than enough to convince me that no matter what they had to say I could never agree with this attitude and watch a family member die as a result.
I have a problem. My neighbor is a jehovah's witness. My parents found that out months ago when the neighbor invited them over for a dinner party. Since then, one of the Jehovah's witness has been dropping by at least twice a week. My parents loves making new friends, but they also don't know how to say no. Not knowing much English, they definitely can't communicate that much but nod. Since I found the reading materials the JW has given them, I told them she will keep coming back. Now they hide whenever the doorbell rings. I have volunteered many times to reject them, but my parents said, "That would be rude." They also explained, "but we are friends!"
I found a lot of these comments funny and useful. However, none of the comments involve having Jehovah's witness as a neighbor. The lady who visits our house is not our neighbor, but my parents are afraid they would ruin our relationship with the neighbor if I turned them down.
Is there a best way to handle this situation?
Hi A.H. I think the best solution is probably to gently explain to them that their friendship is valued, but would it be possible to keep religion out of it as you (your parents) are already very comfortable with their religion and have no intention of changing now. Ask them then if they can pass the word on to be excluded from the 'list' of homes to visit by local JW's. Of course the sign outside the front door is also a good idea, and this can be worded very politely.
Thank you for your reply, I will take that suggestion! Hopefully they will back off.
Love your article!
Thanks A.H. and I really hope this works out okay for your parents. It is very possible to be polite and still say 'thanks, but no thanks' so your family should not worry about being rude because this is not 'rude'.
Instead of the humorous doorknocker (that some parents of Girl Scouts might not appreciate)how about hanging a small portrait of the Pope on the front door? (Just like a crucifix to a vampire!!!) I think the dog sign is a good supplement at the beginning of our walkway to the door.
LOL TheWord that suggestion of the Pope sign is an excellent one :)
You all need to rethink the way you do this. Invite them in. Show them around.Show them your stereo,play some black sabbath for them. Get out the Holiday snaps go through them all. Get out the wedding pictures, show them all.Show your television, show them all 200 channels. Always reminding them that you don't discuss religion with strangers.They now want to leave but try to fill a glass with some strong booze before they get out. Now they know you are not worth saving and wont be back.
Genius Ray, I love your ideas, this is just too tempting :)
Funny how someone that is a Jehova Witness comments that we should listen to everything they say and be reasonable. They say the same thing every time and are themselves unreasonable by never taking no for an answer. They just keep coming back. My poor wife needs to answer the door when they come by because our dogs will keep barking and wake up my son. They really are a nuisance. My wife finally had the courage to leave a note on our door asking them kindly to stop coming by. It worked and they stayed away for a few months. But, the same woman just suddenly started showing up again once every couple of weeks. I'm shocked that we don't hear about them getting beaten up in the news or something. They are killing trees with their stupid papers they insist on us taking. I should get that dog sign you have on here :-) my wife would appreciate. They honestly cannot take no for an answer. Don't they work?
Thanks for commenting Jim, and I loved your final point about 'Don't they work?' that is very valid, I am assuming their job is to pester us, but who knows who pays their wages!
JW or 7 Day. It is all the same manure pile to me. I have yet to try opening the door and "not see them or hear them" and then mutter "darn kids" while the JW's are standing right there. and close the door normally.
In the beginning...I listened and without knowing anything about their beliefs, asked some "POINTED" question that the sheep could not answer. The lead guy said we will come back again with an answer.
In other words these 2 did not have a clue between them (it made no difference to me whether they could quote Page 1395, verse 224 section 45 as they do or the 7's do as being a bit to "show off" - I do not even know Page 1,verse 1,section 1...and do not plan to learn it either.
On reading the beginning of this blog I "did not know for example that according the J.W.'s- they are not dead but unconscious. Talk about giving me ammo.
Unconscious people - so they are burying them alive "or what"?
Cause buddy, I have been unconscious - for 2 weeks. While unconscious the body does not rot.
I am going to bet their "dead ones" do. Flesh stinks as it rots. Explain the unconscious state they are in.
If no one gets to partake in the wine and bread ritual at their one ceremony(cheapskates) then why rub it under the noses of the others? The first 144,000 have already come and gone so is that not just flagrant and cockiness to do that?
The masses follow the "elders" - everyone gets to be an elder(as we all age at the same rate).
If the so called "elder" is younger than you, he is a youngster.
They self elect themselves, or proclaim themselves to be chosen to lead. That means they are the first to jump into the fire. That is what leading is all about.
Have you ever corralled actual sheep? Say to a shearing barn..
If the leader hits the wire fence before it finds the gate - the rest of the flock will do the same thing
"Dumb and dumber". I do not see any pride in calling myself part of a flock.
Cows are smarter. Goats too.
This business about refusal of blood transfusions.(all the emphasis has been placed on the children)What about the elders? They drive cars. Accidents happen. Would they take blood if it meant saving "their life"? Darn right they would just because "God said so" to them.
A total contradiction to the rules.
The rules some ancients made up. Ancient who? Out of Europe who.
Really, and they bother those that live in houses but will not do so in "walled Adult communities"
They do not challenge themselves at all. They hand out booklets, yet they cannot read the sign on the door "no solicitation of any kind"
Thanks Burn, a great and in depth response to this article. I would love to respond in depth, but my Mum has to go into hospital tomorrow and I need to get an early night so I am able to visit her etc. I would hope to God that if she needed a blood transfusion I would never be in the 'JW' camp which says this is wrong.
Hilarious. My favorites in order: the robe, knife and goat; the blood bank sign, and asking for their address. The child abuse thing is horrendous. What could they be thinking telling a sexually victimized child to go the the criminal that violated them and try to reconcile. They are asking the child victim to make nice and be friends with a sexual predator. They are not the true Jehovah's witnesses. If they can't correctly identify a pedophile, if they can't correctly chose the right response to such a situation, then what makes them think they know enough about Jehovah to be his witness?
Thanks for your great comment lambservant. Good points all round :)
LOL that was a great article. I'm tempted to try some of them. Although, my husband always seems to get them to leave us alone by saying "I'm sorry, we have different beliefs in this household. Thank you, take care." They usually never return. He is an atheist and I am pagan.
Cheers AEther, I am a Pagan too, so I guess we think alike. Reading some of the comments here it seems that not all 'Witnesses' are open to being turned away without returning. Perhaps more drastic measures are sometimes necessary! lol
I am one of Jehovah's Witnesses and have been for some 50 years. It is very sad to see some of the terrible comments on here - all of which are simply not true. Do you think it is easy to go from door to door and encountering what we know are people like what I see on here? The reason we do this is because it is what Christ Jesus did and all the apostles did and what Jesus commanded Christians to do until the time of end comes. Matthew 24:14 - "This gospel of the the Kingdome will be preached throughout the entire earth until the End comes." We know you are hiding in your house, we know you are not answering your door, but that's OK - we are there only to give you a chance to hear the message of God's Kingdom under Christ Jesus' rulership in the Heavens. All the things you do to avoid us means you have taken your stand already, and that's OK too. If you really don't want us to come to your door anymore, just tell us to mark it on our territories and your house will be skipped. That means you have made your choice, taken your stand, and that makes you 100% responsible for your actions and relieves us of any responsibility for your spirituality.
I am sorry Popo walker, but it is evident that people have commented here saying say asked to be removed from the list of homes to visit, and it didn't work. I am not saying this will happen every time, but to be honest we shouldn't have to find ways to remove the problem, as it shouldn't have happened in the first place. If JW's want to stand in a public place and invite people to talk to them there, that might be more acceptable as people have a choice to stop, or to walk past. At home they don't always know who is at the door before they answer it, they could be asleep, watching a film, cooking dinner, in the bath etc, in which case it is very annoying to be dragged away in order to have someone else's beliefs forced on them. Apart from anything else it is an invasion of privacy, and an arrogant assumption that the JW's have that they know better than everyone else. As far as I am concerned (and I am sure most will agree with me here), JW's are in no way responsible for our spirituality, we are responsible for our own and don't need to be treated like school children who need educating.
Personally I could never condone or consider a religion that would allow their own family member to die rather than let them have a blood transfusion or an organ transplant. I can't believe any loving God would condone this either.
Sorry, I am sure you are a lovely person who believes what he has been taught is the right way to go, but you have to accept that this is an opinion, and based on an interpretation of a very old and dusty book. The world is full of religions, each of which believe theirs is the right one. Well not everyone can be right, and we are each free to make our own choice without it being thrust upon us!
Thnaks for the commit. We all are not perfect but as christians that do believe the Bible we need to follow Christ's example and the scriptures that say we must go door to door. This is not simple for us either. Our gas our time our preporation . All you need to do is say not interested and we are SUPPOSED to say thankyou and leave.
VioletSun Level 5 Commenter 15 months ago
This was funny, Cindy! The goat sacrifice had me chuckling out loud, and suggestion no. 5 is fun. When I lived in NY we had a security camera in the lobby, so we could see who rang the doorbell from our TV; usually a neighbor would let them into the building , but it gave me the opportunity to be very quiet until they left the building.
Voted up and funny!